Dabman Begins

So here I am. I must say that I am very excited to be writing for the award winning Pixels to Polys. I love music, movies and video games so this blog is pretty much my Bible. I’d like to thank Matt and Pat for taking me on and I hope I can bring as much as possible to this already great blog.

Anthony can suck it.

There is nothing more disappointing than watching a great band release horrible albums, except maybe realizing that band is no longer that great. I imagine it is like having a child you really like when they are younger, and then just loathe when they get older. Over recent months I’ve been thinking about Weezer and how their oldest albums are their best, and want to illustrate this as my first official post to PtP. So here goes.

Blue- What an album. I believe this is already in the PtP Hall of Fame. From track one to ten the album soars. They definitely came out of the blocks running. For more just read this hall of fame post, I think Anthony nails the album description. (That's the only thing he nails OOO zing)

Pinkerton – Arguably the band’s best album, Pinkerton’s album sales were so unsuccessful that unless you were a die hard Weezer fan at the time you probably completely missed its released. Lead singer Rivers Coumo went to college and got some new feelings and attitudes towards life – these ones a little darker than the one’s presented in Blue. The band really showed that they were willing to grow out of their teenage angst Blue album shell and possibly spread their wings into some of the best albums of all time. Blue and Pinkerton both were not only fantastic albums, but gave great hope for Weezer’s future.

Green – Ah, the precipitous drop off. Green isn’t horrible. It isn’t great either. It is just there. After Pinkerton’s album sales hung around in the gutter, it seems the band wanted to recreate the Blue album…but with a little yellow in there (cowardice anyone?). Sure there are some catchy lyrics and sunshine guitar riffs, but O Girlfriend is no Only in Dreams and Hash Pipe is no Say It Ain’t So and Island in the Sun is no Holiday. It seemed to me the band’s growth was more stunted than Craig Fournier’s. As a follow up to two of the most pop-tastic acclaimed albums of all time, Green just didn’t measure up. Kind of like Twan’s manhood when compared to mine.

Maladroit – So you can’t say they didn’t try to rebound. “Let’s make another Pinkerton,” said Rivers as he perused his black book for single Japanese girls. Maladroit was the last effort that Weezer put out. And I mean that because they obviously just didn’t try with their next two albums. At least Maladroit has Burndt Jam, which is great to just listen to and bob your head. Or be burnt to. But either way listening to this album I found myself looking around asking “What happened?” I felt like George W. Bush. Weezer used to be amazing. Now they come up with this meager offering like Tiny Tim. Get off the crutches, Rivers, start using your head.

Make Believe- I guess Weezer expected me to make believe this album was good. I tried really hard to like this album. I thought maybe I just needed to listen to it a few times. When I first listened to Wilco’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot I wasn’t too impressed, and that is one of my favorite albums of all time. But the difference is that though I wasn’t impressed with YHF, there was still some intrigue and depth that kept me interested (thank heavens how awesome is that album??). Make Believe was just Rivers Coumo trying to try something new and failing miserably. You would think with all of his songs he’s written he could come up with better lyrics than “Here’s the pitch/slow and straight/all I have to do is swing and I’m a hero/But now I’m a zero”. That’s as bad a connection between baseball and love as Jimmy Fallon’s Fever Pitch. Maybe the album should have been called “This is such a Pity”.

Red - *Throws headphones down to the floor* So, I’m seeing red. I shouldn’t even have downloaded this album. They are dressed as friggin’ cowboys on the cover. Cowboys. If Blue Albums Cuomo ran into Red Album Cuomo, he’d cry and write a song about it. What the hell happened? Pork and Beans? PORK AND BEANS??? I can’t write anymore.

The test of a great band is their ability to grow as time progresses. The Decemberists are a great example. They have probably one of the best modern string of albums, all five of their offerings showing great craftsmanship from a constantly evolving group of musicians. The Beastie Boys are another great example. Their message has changed from being frat boys singing about sharing girlfriends to rapping about Tibetan philosophy and Buddhism. Each album offers a new insight to both of these bands’ overall view of the world. Each new Weezer album just makes me think Rivers Cuomo is creepily hiding in the back of high school classrooms watching relationships and trying to write songs about them.

Do me a favor, Weezer, give me a good album or just cut your losses and break up.

Dabs out.