Get it on. Get it on.
In = inseminating women.
Out = not inseminating women.
In
The Dream’s album Love vs. Money - If Marvin Gaye and Usher, the past and present authorities on babymaking music, combined their chops to design the perfect sexing music it would sound exactly like Love vs. Money. Like all great babymaking music it is completely gay for you to listen to it unless your dick is inside a chick while it is playing. That being said, I had it blasting in my car with the windows down (I made a baby or two the night before in the back seat) and I accidentally had sex with 3 random women on the way home from work. Dream makes potent music. Key lyric: “Imma Take her home to my momma, Home to my momma, Take her home to my momma Yeah! Her Titties like Oh Oh OOHH, Her Booty Like Oh Oh OOHH.” off the track Take Her Home 2 My Mama
Stanky Leg - This limp legged dance is all the rage with kids these days. A man able to execute it will bed any woman in the club, and for women it is a mating call that says “Please plant your love seed in my tummy.”
Out
Garlic - It’s only recommended that you eat garlic if you have recently found that it is a little too easy to make a baby each night. The effects on your breath acts as a repellent to women. It is also an acceptable method to handicap yourself when going out with a friend who is having less luck in pregging women than you are.
Being Nice - “Hello prospective mother of my child, here are my balls.” If you think that turning yourself into a walking mat for the opposite sex is the way to start making kids with her you couldn’t be wrong. She will look for someone who is man enough to raise a child (i.e. a dude willin’ to belt a misbehaving child). If you start with this giving flowers, babytalking, hand holding, saying anything other then “Let’s sex,” and allowing her to walk anywhere other than a few steps behind you then she will start to worry that you are just some dude with a vagina looking to scissor her. Do yourself a favor and grow a pair so she will think you’re suitable to make her stomach a baby carriage.
Love,
Anthony
Garlic has been known to take down even the greatest of baby makers. I always rock a ready supply of tic tacs, gum, listerine strips and febreze.
ReplyDeleteyou don't really say "lets sex" do you?
ReplyDelete