Hall of Fame: Week 13

Now we could sit here and point fingers until they go stiff, trying to determine why this Hall of Fame post is (more than) a week late, and whom is to blame (me).  But frankly, playing the blame game won’t put PtP knowledge in your brains a week ago.  So I’m of the firm opinion that it’s important that we look into the future, and forget about the mistakes of the past, as well as who is to blame for them.  This week Pat wow’s the ladies with his extensive knowledge of the Shire, Dabs extols us on the virtues of a worm fighting evil in a super suit, and Matt steals one of my future movie picks out from under my Peter Sellers-esque robotic arms.  Oh ya, and I give you something depressing to listen to you while you worry about another late edition of the HoF next week (won’t happen, I promise).

The Book: The Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King)

While probably a case could be made for each of these books on an individual basis I think that we might as well group the whole set together as they make possibly the best written trilogy of the 20th century. The world created by J.R.R Tolkien is as vast and descriptive as it is probably humanly possible to describe our own. Tolkien literally developed not only species, maps and languages in incredible detail to describe the depth of his world; but he also included history that spanned thousands of years for the reader to really understand the world in which you were about to become immersed in and really experience something that is rarely given in written sagas.

Of course what do you expect from Oxford professor of English Language and Literature? This compilation of books is unlike any that I have ever read and there is still more to dive into the story with the Silmarillion which would allow the most avid fan much more facts and history to gobble up.

The books provide the basic Good versus Evil but gives does such an amazing job showing so many elements of mankind and what is truly made of, not only using the human characters but the elves and numerous other creatures as well. The story shows that we all have paths that ebb and flow and that sometimes connect for a time but also instances where we have to go it alone. It takes relationships in all forms from those that are forbidden with the elves and the mortals to the ones of the truest friendships with Frodo and Sam. Then we have the temptation aspect with the ring that gives unparalleled life and power to the one who possess it and how it can utterly reduce one character to a monster while others who possess it try to stave off evil to the end with what good hearts they possessed.

There is so much in this books that no short summary is ever going to do it justice. They might appear daunting at first but the trilogy is the best you will ever find in modern fiction. It has all the elements of life with murder, betrayal, love, redemption, and strife just to name a few.

By far The Lord of the Rings should be on everyone’s list of fiction to read at some point. And while you might say that the movies will cover you, like any good book they can never get everything in there, even with extended additions, and even if they could there is always something lost in the translation. This is the measuring stick for all other epic sagas.

-Pat

The Game: Earthworm Jim

I'll stand by the statement that the best games were born from the Super Nintendo/Sega Genesis rivalry. RPG's, platformers, sports games - you name it they all were made better by the rivalry. Each system battled back and forth, and eventually the SNES came out on top, but the Genesis still came out with some of the best games of all time and is true and dear to my heart. 

Earthworm Jim came out for both systems, but I got to know it on the delicious Genesis (I still have never owned a SuperNES). The whole idea of a worm walking around in a super suit trying to defeat a maniacal crow and some disgusting larva queen is just fantastic in and of itself, but the mechanics, game play, sound and level design put this game over the top. 

Each level had its own great theme, and got progressively difficult as the game went on. The last few levels are just ridiculous, and definitely require racking up extra lives early on. Which was easy to do if you utilized flinging yourself like a whip and swinging from hooks, or flushing toilets that warp you to secret areas, or launching cows into distant space. 

One level was completely devoted to protecting a puppy, who, if you let him get attacked, would mutate into this gigantic, seething monster, chew you up, and spit you out half way back into the level. 

Others had you riding in a glass submarine with a limited amount of air (time). Each time you hit the rock sides of the level your sub would crack a little, the faster you hit the wall, the bigger the crack. Believe me, I didn't know I could fit in such tight cracks - something I'm sure Anthony is just drooling over right now. 

The graphics were (and still are) fantastic. Pie made little details in every aspect of every character to add depth and a cartoon/comic feel that I think only a few games can replicate (Comix Zone, another future HoF pic, is one of them). 

Overall, Earthworm Jim was a great platformer that required masterful level memorization, quick fingers, and dedication. Play the game and you will be saying "Groovy" just like Earthworm Jim.

-Dabs

The Move: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb 

Before I get to describe my movie pick for this week, let me first pat myself on the back for being utterly brilliant…yes…brilliant. By inducting this movie, I am achieving several important goals in one fell swoop: 1.) not letting our readers down by inducting a truly amazing movie 2.) adding a bit more diversity to our HoF movie selections by inducting a dark satire 3.) inconveniencing Anthony by preempting any possible Kubrick selections he might be considering in the near future, thus stripping him of a lot of great possible movie picks due to the recency of my choice…good work Matt.

At any rate, for those of you foolish enough to have missed this classic, Dr. Strangelove is a brilliant flick that satirizes the Cold War arms race and the concept of mutually assured destruction. One could call this film a comedy, but in truth, it’s really not. The film overflows with dark humor, but at the same time, is not comical…it’s a brilliant balancing act that takes something as serious as impending nuclear holocaust and produces grins out of it. The film somehow pulls off this impressive feat through near flawless acting; it’s a dialogue heavy movie so a lot of focus is put on the characters. Peter Sellers shows off some of the most versatile acting I have ever seen in a single movie, taking on three different characters that are so diverse that one will struggle to recognize the same person is playing them. Sterling Hayden keeps the awkward grins going steady, portraying a delusional General convinced that the fluoridation of water is a Russian plot to contaminate our bodily fluids…it plays into the story trust me. Lastly, George C. Scott plays possibly my favorite character in the flick, the flamboyant and boisterous General Buck Turgidson (his defense of the “big board” cracks me up every time). I could go on all day picking out truly great scenes from this movie, but you’d be better served checking it out for yourself.

Without question, this film is timeless. Despite being black and white, it will seem fresh and new until we actually do succeed in killing ourselves in a nuclear holocaust. Maybe when that day comes I might not appreciate this film, until then, however, I stand firm in believing that you are less of a person for not seeing this flick…that’s right, I judge you.

-Matt

The Album: Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights

Interpol’s debut album is full of haunting music with lyrical themes of loss, regret and sex... I say sex because no one would confuse any of these songs for love songs.  Interpol follows in the post-punk footsteps of Joy Division (one of Matt’s Hidden Gem picks).  The foundation of the band is the rhythm section.  Drummer Sam Fogarino seems to define the song hooks with varied beats that never stagnate or bore.  Meanwhile Carlos Dengler’s (porn name anyone?) bass lines carve out a spine for the song.  Over low-range foundation of the rhythm section Daniel Kessler’s jangling guitar is big enough to reach the upper decks of a stadium without ever sounding like he’s trying to be The Edge.  Turn on the Bright Lights is the band peaking early, both thematically and musically.  Here their lyrics are vague, but effective and evocative--where in later albums they fail by being more overt and descriptive.    The album opener starts with a ringing guitar riff before the drums come in with a driving beat.  Untitled sort of informs the rest of the album, thematically with its obtuse, almost singular lyric line repeated.  The perspective of the song is unclear, so it’s meaning is up for argument.  “I will surprise you sometime, I’ll come around, when you’re down.”  The song NYC gives the album it’s title, though it is unclear whether it is another love song to New York or a critical look on the city with lyrics like “I had seven faces, thought I knew which one to wear” and “the subway is a porno.”  It is probably both.  TotBL is a rainy day CD.  A drive at night CD.  It’s a city walk CD.  It’s a pretty legit CD.

-Anthony

Review: Terminator Salvation

This summer started out bad for me and hyped movies. Wolverine was shitty. Very shitty. Disappointingly shitty. It actually ruined my expectation of all summer films. It was like opening that gift on Christmas you thought was a Nintendo and found out was a grow your own rock kit. Star Trek was released and I couldn't even bring myself to go see it in fear of getting let down again.

I have yet to see the new 'Trek, though I have heard good things. But I was able to recover my post-Wolverine depression and get out of the house to see Terminator: Salvation.

In stride with the other Terminator movies, TS brings us to the future where John Connor is fighting for the survival of the human race. Christian Bale plays the Christ-like Connor and Sam Worthington plays a dude.

Now, the Terminator story isn't all that complex (how they fill a whole show about it baffles me), and in TS it is bare bones. If you don't remember who John Connor or his father, Kyle Reese are, don't worry. Their names are said over and over again, and there is so little dialogue in the movie that the character's names probably take up half the script.The little dialogue is due to the minimal story line, and the minimal story line is due to the intense, non-stop action.

Seriously, any movie that has two separate atomic explosions that don't involve Hiroshima or Nagasaki is okay in my book. The Terminators look damn cool and the opening scene is gritty and reminded me of a futuristic Black Hawk Down. The Resistance unloads an amazing amount of ammo into the unstoppable Terminators and the Terminators respond with their own arsenals. It is cool seeing different T-X00's and all the kick ass ships they have. The scenes are just insane at times, and the sound is terrific.

What I never got was how these unstoppable terminators fall victim to .50 cal shells. If I remember correctly the Arnold Terminator of past could take slugs to the face and just keep on walking. Where are the lasers? Or at least photon canons? Anything we could have developed besides an M-16? Seems to me like we would already be dead if all we had were just bullets to fight these things. The Terminators also seem so well organized and well equipped that it is almost foolish that there is a "war". It seems impossible for any human to survive anywhere, and it is almost as if the terminators allow the human race to exist. I mean, they have heat signature targeting and all that jazz, how can you hide from that?

But anyway, the movie was entertaining. The booms and bangs kept my eyes busy and my ears dancing, but that was all. The complete lack of story line was frustrating,and it surprised me that Christian Bale's character was as small as it was. Sam Worthington really drives the ship. The Dark Knight spends most of the time speaking in that Batman voice in very low, whispering tones saying nothing but scripted prophetical statements. There is nothing real about this John Connor prophet. He survives everything and knows even more. What made T2 so great was how they took time to build on Arnie's Terminator, making him a father figure to a young JC. When he destroys himself and gives that thumbs up, it means something, the audience and the characters had some sort of emotional reaction, or at least reference. I could really care less about any of the characters in this movie, I just wanted more explosions.

So Terminator was better than Wolverine, but not as good as I needed my salvation to be. Only Revenge of the Fallen can save me now.


- Dabs

Obscure Gems: Killer 7

Killer 7 was released in 2005 for the Gamecube and the PS2 (oddly enough most reviews claim the GCN version to be superior both graphically and control wise) by Capcom, and no one played it. Not a soul. I think the game sold 7 copies.
And it is a shame.
Killer 7 is a rail first person shooter that has you controlling 7 assassins each with their own unique ability, from invisibility to jumping very high to slitting your wrists and spraying blood everywhere (not joking). You move your character forward and backward with the A and B buttons (I played the GCN version, so this whole review is based off of that) while in a third person perspective and then must press R to go into first person mode in order to shoot. The camera angles change as you walk through levels and you can really see Capcom's Resident Evil influence. You can switch between characters on the fly (all except Garcian) and you have to use their abilities to solve different puzzles. Your enemies can only be killed by shooting them in certain weak points, and the more accurate you are the more blood you collect. This blood can be cashed in at the blood bank to upgrade your abilities to make them more powerful or last longer. This is important because it increases the importance of accuracy in the game. There is infinite ammo, so you can just run and gun, but there isn't much reward in it.
The graphics are all cel-shaded and super stylish. They fit the gameplay and story perfectly.
Speaking of the story, this is where the game truly shines. For the first half of the game you really don't know what is going on. The story is all over the place. You catch snippets of Garcian talking with a secret agent but you don't know if the conversations are taking place during the game, before or even after. You start off in levels with no idea why you are there. Whiny bitches like Anthony might be thinking "Well, that sucks. I want to know what's going on"...but trust, the mystery is well worth it and the story well paced enough to keep you interested. The final moments bring the story together so well I think it would make Tarantino shed a tear.
The game has received many awards ranging from Most Outrageous and Most Innovative game by Gamespot, to Best Game No One Played and Best Adventure Game from IGN.
I know none of you have played this game, so put in the ten or so hours it takes to beat it (maybe even less). You'll be surprised and entertained by this great gem.

-Dabs

Babymaking Nation Vol. 5

In the time since our last baby making post Anthony's alimony payments have quadrupled, if you do the math that means that we have to increase our readership sixteen fold to date just to keep his head above water, that is if he ever did really make those alimony payments. Scumbags. How dare those harpies ask for support, you gave em' your seed what else are they gonna take from ya?

In

Chick Flicks – Its unfortunate reality that we live in gentlemen that some sacrifices must be made to start the baby makin’ train. While some dude might question your masculinity while you nap through 2 hours of The Notebook; no man will question you once she decides jump you like Rachel McAdams halfway through the flick. It’s a fatal flaw that most women like to think they can pretend they are in storybook love story. Mixed with the appropriate amount of cheesy lines, romantic bedding music, and sometimes alcohol you’ll be pinned on the couch in no time and can avoid the rest of the tear jerker and get down to business.

Note this doesn’t work for every flick and you can’t let it linger or end on any sad note. So stick to proven flicks and avoid like the plague chick flicks that promote empowering women or Gone Like the Wind. Depression or empowerment will only make them want to have you fix their car or care for their feelings; and quite frankly my dear, we don’t give a damn.

Boats – Guys this is one that you really win no matter what, but remember to keep your head in the game. If there is one thing that women love more than fast hot cars it might be fast hot boats, or yachts if that’s in your price range. The combination of water, waves, sun rays, and just overall ecstasy being on a boat drive women wild; plus the fact that every woman wants to say they’ve been done on a boat, it’s a proven fact. It’s a double wammy of money and raw baby making nature on the open sea. Don’t believe me? Just watch T-Pain doin’ a mermaid on that SNL skit, and though some might deny it every guy knows he would bang the shit out of Aerial if they had the chance. Throw in the fact that half of the clothing is already off and if you can’t seal the deal here, god himself is gonna shake his head in pity.

Out

Romantic Dinners Out- Lets be honest, do you really wanna spend that much or literally anything toward your baby making endeavors than maybe a bus ticket for the girl home? And that’s if you’re feeling generous. These overpriced and often over-hyped necessities of courtship are right out if you’re into serious baby making. For one it ain’t gonna happen out to dinner, sorry fellas the odds are against you. Add in the fact that your wallet is not only gonna be a hell of a lot lighter but that your date isn’t gonna be feeling the baby makin’ mood for at least an hour or two. Do yourself a favor and cook something at home, better yet have her cook it while you grab drinks and then make the move. Women cooking are surprising easy to seduce and the baby making will be second to none. Afterward you can let her finish cooking since you definitely will have worked up an appetite turning out one more baby mama.

Sweat/Natural Body Odor – Seriously take a friggin shower. It doesn’t matter that you just ran a marathon or were in the gym all morning and think that turns girls on. Sure maybe from a distance your sweaty lochs look appealing but within 10 feet the truth is revealed and your not going to get any baby makin’ done like that son. The only time you should be in that condition is after you finish dropping your seed in the gene pool. Clean that shit up and you’ll be bedding them like Wilt Chamberlain, a man with untold illegitimate children we can all look up to.

-Pat

Closed Captioned?

#1 (Live on "Late Night WIth Conan OBrien") - Animal Collective

So Animal Collective is awesome, Pat probably won't like them because they aren't Linkin Park, but that is okay. I can understand how some people would be turned off. It's weird stuff. This video was taken on Conan O' Brien..as you can see if you watch the damn video. What was great was the closed caption translation of the sounds:



Props to J Money for this greatness.

-Dabs

Hall of Fame Week 12/100th Post

HAPPY ONE HUNDRED POSTS EVERYBODY!!!!!

So if there were a documentary about the blog, Anthony and I would have a bigger rivalry than Lennon and McCartney. Some will say I am weak for giving in and releasing this Hall of Fame that has been collecting digital dust for nearly a week, but I say I am a champion of you, the reader. I came to this blog late in the game, but I knew I was joining a site that was dedicated to providing useless, demeaning and somewhat trivial information on various forms of media for your internet browsing pleasure. Some of us, *ahem* Anthony *ahem*, don't realize that you, the reader, are our bread and butter. Without you we wouldn't be able to afford anything. We wouldn't make money from all the advertisements and we...wait a minute. We don't make shit. Most of you read our blog out of pity. Fuck.

Well, better late than never. Hall of Fame week 12. Anthony explores perhaps the best text on post-apocalyptic Earth since the term post-apocalyptic was coined; Matt reveals his secret training regimen for the zombie apocalypse; Pat beams himself up to the final frontier; and I let you all know that you are stupid if you haven't heard one of the best albums of all time. Enjoy, bitches.

The Book: The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The greatest stories, the kind with lasting appeal and a driving message are typically simple in theme. The writing in The Road is simple and beautiful, a stark contrast to the content, which is the bleak grays of humankind on the brink of extinction. It is powerful, and managed to effect my mood for the few days that I read it. To say that the novel is post-apocalyptic conjures up the idea of a overexposed genre typically far from high art. McCarthy uses the setting to bring out the father-son relationship that is truly the heart of the story. The road is about the father and son searching for food and shelter along the road. We see the worst in humanity, brought on by the end of the world, cannibalism, cultism and greed as people fight for the scraps left to sustain the dregs of humankind: no humanity remains, spare that of the little boy. Messianic overtones aside, the young boy represents what is good in us, with his youthful optimism in the worst of circumstances. The book is about growing old, and making that journey with your father, and all that encompasses. I’m not even ashamed to say it got a little dusty in the final pages. This is one of the greatest books I have ever read.

-Anthony

The Game: DOOM

I spent a few days thinking…contemplating…pondering…and the end result of my three day thought experiment was a conclusion that is both profound and controversial: the conclusion that I reached was that the PC game DOOM was one of the greatest creations in the history of mankind, right next to the wheel and cheese-in-can. Let’s review: DOOM was a game about a space marine sent to explore mars after a portal was opened up to hell. To reach the end, the player would blaze through an arsenal of weapons while spewing demon guts all over the Martian moon bases.
Marines…demons…mars…hell…guns…gore, for an eight year old this was the shit wet dreams were made of (before they had any idea what a what dream was). Without question, DOOM had more in common with alcoholism that an actual video game. You could very easily spot the tell tale signs of DOOM player at school…the pale skin suggested that they spent very little time outside…the bags under the eyes suggested days of continuous eye strain…the odd odor coming from their body suggested they sacrificed a shower for twenty minutes of demon slaying before school. Medically speaking, Doom was disease, and damn did it feel good to ride the downward spiral of illness.
At the time of its release in 1993, Doom was cutting edge, a first person shooter that went well beyond anything before it in the graphics department (Wolfenstein 3D, I still love you babe). The levels were well designed, crisp and fluid; running through the Martian moon bases never felt so real…or looked so good. DOOM’s soundtrack is also quite possibly one of the most recognizable in the history of videogames, standing one the same pedestal as the theme from Super Mario Bros. The second the first level opens up, you know two things: 1. shits going down, 2. it’s your job to kill everything. Even the sound effects were nothing short of incredible: the ambient chatter of Imps, the hissing sounds of Cacodemons, that oddly porn sounding grunt you make when you can’t open a door. Aesthetics aside, where DOOM truly shines is in the gameplay. Sure the game shows signs of aging compared to today’s FPS’s, but what DOOM lacks in flash today it makes up in character. This may be grumpy old man Matt sitting on the porch throwing empty beer bottles at kids again, but I would much rather play DOOM than any FPS released in the past fifteen years. Whereas modern FPS’s concentrate on strategy and resource management, DOOM boldly pushes run-and-gun in a manner that has often been imitated but never duplicated. Run, shoot, and don’t die…simple as that. In the end, DOOM is one of the crowing achievements of man. Sure fire was cool and all, but c’mon, this is fucking DOOM we’re talking about…
On a final note, what game today boasts having a “Big Fucking Gun”…that’s right, just DOOM.

- Matt

The Movie: Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country

Since this being the weekend that the Star Trek series gets a much needed reboot and since it harkens back the good ole’ days with Bones, Kirk, Spock and the rest of the legendary crew; I thought it would be appropriate to post one of my favorite old crew flicks.
Let’s be honest, with most of the Star Trek films, unless you’re a real Treky or at least trying to be, you’re not going to get much out of the movie or care too much about it. This last installment of the original Star Trek crew is the way a franchise of this caliber should end; on a high note. The film might not be much for deep interpretation or huge dramatic scenes but what the film does do is bring out the best of what the series has to offer.
Scenes such as where the Klingons are dinning with the Star Trek crew while Kirk and the One-eyed Klingon general Chang, played by Christopher Plummer which is amazing by the way, trade quick insults at each other’s cultures; some go as so far as to reference Hitler. Which if that doesn’t get you to chuckle I don’t know what will. Even Spock had to smirk at that one.
The story presents the case that the ultimate enemy of the Federation, The Klingon Empire, needs help. Their planet and their species are dying. And the man chosen to begin talks on how to save not only the peace between the two races but one’s very existence is Captain Kirk. The man, whose only son was killed by Klingons is a tragedy which he has never forgotten nor forgiven. This underlying sense of mistrust from the start leads to sharp talk and eventually assassination of the Klingon High Chancellor; who strange enough for a Klingon was actually promoting peace. For this crime Kirk is accused of if not being involved but at least complicate in the outcome. Both Kirk and Bones are arrested and brought back by the Klingons where they are convicted of their charges and given essentially a death sentence within a labor camp.
All the while crafty Spock knows that there has to be another explanation… which leads to the discovery of a massive conspiracy to assassinate the Federation president and keep the Klingon and Federation at war indefinitely. The crew races to save their beloved captain and doctor and also discover the truth to who is really behind the chaos.
The flick is definitely well done and while it may have one slow point, the majority of the film is either in high suspense or action mode. Not a bad way for the old cast and crew to go out. Definitely something to see before or after you check out this latest installment of the Star Trek dynasty.

-Pat

The Album: Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

Deciding which album to add to the Hall of Fame for my first selection was almost painful. I knew my first choice would give everyone a full flavor of my musical taste, and I didn't know if I wanted to go with a classic or with something really new and undiscovered. In the end, I chose an album that has a little of both qualities: Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.

When I first spun this disc so many years ago I dug it, but not nearly as much as I thought I would. It grew on me like warts on Anthony's you-know-what. Even now I listen to the album and am amazed at the layers in each song, which sometimes can only be described as structured ambience - if such a thing exists.

Singer Jeff Tweedy does everything right in this album. Ranging from the solemn Radio Cure to the poppy Heavy Metal Drummer he hits all his notes perfectly. I say perfectly because no other word aptly describes his vocals excepts for "perfect" on this album.

A song that has always stood out for me on the album is "Jesus etc." The violins, bass line and lyrics are soft and smooth and just feel good going down:

" Jesus, don't cry
you can rely on me honey
you can combine anything you want
I'll be around
you were right about the stars
each one is a setting sun

tall buildings shake
voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords strung down your cheeks
bitter melodies turning your orbit around "

I am a big fan of albums - that is when artists that do more than just put a bunch of singles on a disc and call it good - and this is one of the best. YHF has a great pace to it, starting out strong with the anti-love song I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, slowing down with The Ashes of American Flags, getting right back into it with Heavy Metal Drummer and finishing out with Reservations, one of the best final songs to an album ever:

"Oh I've got reservations/about so many things/but not about you"

Oh Jeff Tweedy, if only you were talking about me.

The album almost never happened, which would have been a travesty. The band nearly broke up during its recording and their record label dropped them after hearing it (I guarantee all of them have the worst music taste ever, and, without having met any of them, I can declare that I hate them). If you like the album check out the companion DVD that chronicles the album's making, I Am Trying To Break Your Heart: A Film About Wilco. If you haven't heard the album, stop being an idiot and go buy it.

-Dabs

The News Desk: One Millionth English word... Pwned?

There are events that happen in all our lives that sometimes you just have to shake your head and look away for a second... regain your focus... and just ask... "Really?"

As if The World of Warcraft hasn't destroyed enough lives already or at least limited those lives to ones of cadavers languishing untold hours over a keyboard speaking an entirely new dialect that some might mistake for Klingon, this game is now about to be immortalized bringing the word "Pwned" into the official English language. I'm sure someone is going to cry about how the word was used before this game; but really, without this soul stealing game you would not have seen this word permeate the pop culture driven (drunkenly i might add) society we have today.

Also to note is that "defriend" is also on the list for possible additions. I personally think we should have been able to defriend people years ago, would have made my life so much more simple. Case in point - Anthony.

-Pat

Stream This: Unforgivable

Look, there are two ways I could write this post.  I could come here, begging for your forgiveness for my two post-less weeks of PtP inactivity, like some sort of Dabs-esque pansy.  Or I could just do what I do, and let you realize how bad this world is without me writing on this blog.  

So I break the silence with a lazy Stream This post of the best YouTube clip ever recorded: Unforgivable.

Find me this guy, and he’s hired for the blog immediately.  He’s got the anger of Matt, the ferocity of Dabs, the superiority complex of me... It’s frankly enough for us to override Pat’s strict stance of “No blacks writing for the blog.”

Frankly Pat, your racism is unbecoming of you.

If you don’t think this guy would write some fantastic Babymaking Nation posts then you ain’t breathin’ brothers.

“B*tch you got siblings... and I don’t like it!”

-Anthony

You suck, Facebook

Facebook's Top 5 application is ruining the idea of Top 5 lists. Now people can merely sit around and, using a helpful graphical interface that provides you with options, choose Top 5 anything. Stupid. Top 5 lists are all about sitting around and really contemplating whatever it is you are trying to make a list of. Here at PtP I feel we have really mastered this formula. We don't just sit down and make fifteen top 5 lists in one day. It takes time. Don't just throw your answers out there. Don't rely on someone's prompting to declare what Top 5 Actors You Want to Punch in the Face. You will probably forget Gilbert Gottfried or that dude from the Princess Bride who tries to poison the hero.
So please people, don't just haphazardly throw around these Top 5 lists. To some of us, Top 5 really means something, and we want to keep it that way.

Obscure Gems: Primer

Oh what a little gumption can do. Shane Carruth wrote, directed, produced and starred in this 2004 film that chronicles two tech geeks' experiments with time travel. His total budget? $7,000. What's that you say? A film about time travel for only $7,000? Are the special effects cheesy as hell? How many more rhetorical questions will I ask in this post? (My journalism professors are turning in their proverbial graves.)

Well, there are no special effects. No, ladies and gentlemen, this movie doesn't rely on CGI to move its storyline along. It relies on things like a great story line, excellent acting and some superb editing (how about those positive adjectives).

Primer follows two engineers who are trying to build a zero gravity device when they realize they've accidentally built a time machine. The film moves quickly, with the characters talking about things the audience probably doesn't understand (unless they are engineers) without stopping to explain. They talk in quick mutters, referring to past events that we don't know about and to people we have never met. This makes the film so believable, so real to life, that you wonder if it is a documentary (the lazy cam filming adds to the effect). It is just two engineers trying to figure out what they've built and how to control it. There is no made up metal or electrical force or giant gizmo that no one could ever create to serve as the time portal. It's just a box. Something so simple yet so believable that you don't even miss the special effects, in fact, you don't even wonder where they are.

The story twists in and out and if you aren't paying attention it is easy to get lost, but that is the fun in it. You are supposed to be lost, the main characters are too. The plot works around theories of time travel, and the consequences of it, in a realistic manner. Well, as realistic as I can imagine time travel to be.

I wanted to say that before Primer I didn't think I had seen a truly remarkable film about time travel. But then I did some research and found some great time travel movies, like Flight of the Navigator, 12 Monkeys, Terminator (how could I forget) and the Philadelphia Expirement. These were all great time travel movies, but Primer stands out among them and proves that low budget can mean very high quality. Maybe that's the line you should use on the corner, Anthony.

-Dabs

Good New Music: Moby - Shot in the Back of the Head

After the ridiculous popularity of Play (every single track on the album was either in a movie, tv show, commercial or some other advertisement) Moby kind of slunk away. Maybe it was his clash with Eminem, or maybe he was finding it hard to find clothes not made by little children or out of animal skin. I really loved Play when in High school (that's what she said) and it turned me on to some different electro-musak than I normally listened to.

I like to think my music tastes have evolved, but when I heard Shot in the Back of the Head I got kind of excited. I just heard it on WMEB 91.9 (an underrated radio station for sure, and trust a music lover that doesn't have a cd player in his car) and saw the video on Pitchfork. Sounds pretty promising for his next album, but I won't get my hopes up too high. The album is called Wait for Me, which I will, Moby, if this album is good.