Hall of Fame Week 12/100th Post

HAPPY ONE HUNDRED POSTS EVERYBODY!!!!!

So if there were a documentary about the blog, Anthony and I would have a bigger rivalry than Lennon and McCartney. Some will say I am weak for giving in and releasing this Hall of Fame that has been collecting digital dust for nearly a week, but I say I am a champion of you, the reader. I came to this blog late in the game, but I knew I was joining a site that was dedicated to providing useless, demeaning and somewhat trivial information on various forms of media for your internet browsing pleasure. Some of us, *ahem* Anthony *ahem*, don't realize that you, the reader, are our bread and butter. Without you we wouldn't be able to afford anything. We wouldn't make money from all the advertisements and we...wait a minute. We don't make shit. Most of you read our blog out of pity. Fuck.

Well, better late than never. Hall of Fame week 12. Anthony explores perhaps the best text on post-apocalyptic Earth since the term post-apocalyptic was coined; Matt reveals his secret training regimen for the zombie apocalypse; Pat beams himself up to the final frontier; and I let you all know that you are stupid if you haven't heard one of the best albums of all time. Enjoy, bitches.

The Book: The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The greatest stories, the kind with lasting appeal and a driving message are typically simple in theme. The writing in The Road is simple and beautiful, a stark contrast to the content, which is the bleak grays of humankind on the brink of extinction. It is powerful, and managed to effect my mood for the few days that I read it. To say that the novel is post-apocalyptic conjures up the idea of a overexposed genre typically far from high art. McCarthy uses the setting to bring out the father-son relationship that is truly the heart of the story. The road is about the father and son searching for food and shelter along the road. We see the worst in humanity, brought on by the end of the world, cannibalism, cultism and greed as people fight for the scraps left to sustain the dregs of humankind: no humanity remains, spare that of the little boy. Messianic overtones aside, the young boy represents what is good in us, with his youthful optimism in the worst of circumstances. The book is about growing old, and making that journey with your father, and all that encompasses. I’m not even ashamed to say it got a little dusty in the final pages. This is one of the greatest books I have ever read.

-Anthony

The Game: DOOM

I spent a few days thinking…contemplating…pondering…and the end result of my three day thought experiment was a conclusion that is both profound and controversial: the conclusion that I reached was that the PC game DOOM was one of the greatest creations in the history of mankind, right next to the wheel and cheese-in-can. Let’s review: DOOM was a game about a space marine sent to explore mars after a portal was opened up to hell. To reach the end, the player would blaze through an arsenal of weapons while spewing demon guts all over the Martian moon bases.
Marines…demons…mars…hell…guns…gore, for an eight year old this was the shit wet dreams were made of (before they had any idea what a what dream was). Without question, DOOM had more in common with alcoholism that an actual video game. You could very easily spot the tell tale signs of DOOM player at school…the pale skin suggested that they spent very little time outside…the bags under the eyes suggested days of continuous eye strain…the odd odor coming from their body suggested they sacrificed a shower for twenty minutes of demon slaying before school. Medically speaking, Doom was disease, and damn did it feel good to ride the downward spiral of illness.
At the time of its release in 1993, Doom was cutting edge, a first person shooter that went well beyond anything before it in the graphics department (Wolfenstein 3D, I still love you babe). The levels were well designed, crisp and fluid; running through the Martian moon bases never felt so real…or looked so good. DOOM’s soundtrack is also quite possibly one of the most recognizable in the history of videogames, standing one the same pedestal as the theme from Super Mario Bros. The second the first level opens up, you know two things: 1. shits going down, 2. it’s your job to kill everything. Even the sound effects were nothing short of incredible: the ambient chatter of Imps, the hissing sounds of Cacodemons, that oddly porn sounding grunt you make when you can’t open a door. Aesthetics aside, where DOOM truly shines is in the gameplay. Sure the game shows signs of aging compared to today’s FPS’s, but what DOOM lacks in flash today it makes up in character. This may be grumpy old man Matt sitting on the porch throwing empty beer bottles at kids again, but I would much rather play DOOM than any FPS released in the past fifteen years. Whereas modern FPS’s concentrate on strategy and resource management, DOOM boldly pushes run-and-gun in a manner that has often been imitated but never duplicated. Run, shoot, and don’t die…simple as that. In the end, DOOM is one of the crowing achievements of man. Sure fire was cool and all, but c’mon, this is fucking DOOM we’re talking about…
On a final note, what game today boasts having a “Big Fucking Gun”…that’s right, just DOOM.

- Matt

The Movie: Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country

Since this being the weekend that the Star Trek series gets a much needed reboot and since it harkens back the good ole’ days with Bones, Kirk, Spock and the rest of the legendary crew; I thought it would be appropriate to post one of my favorite old crew flicks.
Let’s be honest, with most of the Star Trek films, unless you’re a real Treky or at least trying to be, you’re not going to get much out of the movie or care too much about it. This last installment of the original Star Trek crew is the way a franchise of this caliber should end; on a high note. The film might not be much for deep interpretation or huge dramatic scenes but what the film does do is bring out the best of what the series has to offer.
Scenes such as where the Klingons are dinning with the Star Trek crew while Kirk and the One-eyed Klingon general Chang, played by Christopher Plummer which is amazing by the way, trade quick insults at each other’s cultures; some go as so far as to reference Hitler. Which if that doesn’t get you to chuckle I don’t know what will. Even Spock had to smirk at that one.
The story presents the case that the ultimate enemy of the Federation, The Klingon Empire, needs help. Their planet and their species are dying. And the man chosen to begin talks on how to save not only the peace between the two races but one’s very existence is Captain Kirk. The man, whose only son was killed by Klingons is a tragedy which he has never forgotten nor forgiven. This underlying sense of mistrust from the start leads to sharp talk and eventually assassination of the Klingon High Chancellor; who strange enough for a Klingon was actually promoting peace. For this crime Kirk is accused of if not being involved but at least complicate in the outcome. Both Kirk and Bones are arrested and brought back by the Klingons where they are convicted of their charges and given essentially a death sentence within a labor camp.
All the while crafty Spock knows that there has to be another explanation… which leads to the discovery of a massive conspiracy to assassinate the Federation president and keep the Klingon and Federation at war indefinitely. The crew races to save their beloved captain and doctor and also discover the truth to who is really behind the chaos.
The flick is definitely well done and while it may have one slow point, the majority of the film is either in high suspense or action mode. Not a bad way for the old cast and crew to go out. Definitely something to see before or after you check out this latest installment of the Star Trek dynasty.

-Pat

The Album: Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

Deciding which album to add to the Hall of Fame for my first selection was almost painful. I knew my first choice would give everyone a full flavor of my musical taste, and I didn't know if I wanted to go with a classic or with something really new and undiscovered. In the end, I chose an album that has a little of both qualities: Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.

When I first spun this disc so many years ago I dug it, but not nearly as much as I thought I would. It grew on me like warts on Anthony's you-know-what. Even now I listen to the album and am amazed at the layers in each song, which sometimes can only be described as structured ambience - if such a thing exists.

Singer Jeff Tweedy does everything right in this album. Ranging from the solemn Radio Cure to the poppy Heavy Metal Drummer he hits all his notes perfectly. I say perfectly because no other word aptly describes his vocals excepts for "perfect" on this album.

A song that has always stood out for me on the album is "Jesus etc." The violins, bass line and lyrics are soft and smooth and just feel good going down:

" Jesus, don't cry
you can rely on me honey
you can combine anything you want
I'll be around
you were right about the stars
each one is a setting sun

tall buildings shake
voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords strung down your cheeks
bitter melodies turning your orbit around "

I am a big fan of albums - that is when artists that do more than just put a bunch of singles on a disc and call it good - and this is one of the best. YHF has a great pace to it, starting out strong with the anti-love song I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, slowing down with The Ashes of American Flags, getting right back into it with Heavy Metal Drummer and finishing out with Reservations, one of the best final songs to an album ever:

"Oh I've got reservations/about so many things/but not about you"

Oh Jeff Tweedy, if only you were talking about me.

The album almost never happened, which would have been a travesty. The band nearly broke up during its recording and their record label dropped them after hearing it (I guarantee all of them have the worst music taste ever, and, without having met any of them, I can declare that I hate them). If you like the album check out the companion DVD that chronicles the album's making, I Am Trying To Break Your Heart: A Film About Wilco. If you haven't heard the album, stop being an idiot and go buy it.

-Dabs