Babymaking Nation

It all started around a fire.  A talk among a few select founding fathers.  A united group whose cause was threefold.

1.) make babies

2.) make babies

3.) make babies

Basically, procreating was once the most important duty of the human race.  It was our key to survival.  As our globe quickly becomes overpopulated, this is not so much the case anymore.  Procreation has now gone from a duty to more of a statement of one’s masculinity.  Making a baby is the most effective way of saying...

“Ya, I’m a dude... I made that... by doing a chick.”

It’s all about proof of masculinity.

The group takes it’s mission statement ( “make babies” ) and defines everything else based on how it affects that goal.  Whether something helps in the goal of making a baby, or if it fits within the rules of conduct of how a babymaker would act.  The rating is simple, “in” or “out.”  “In” if it helps make babies.  “Out” if it doesn’t.

Here at Pixels to Polys we would like to start an ongoing series where we tell you what things are in and what things are out.  Act accordingly.

In

John Coltrain records - Classy and sexy, a good Coltrain record will put you on the one way track to love making.  She might not be into the idea of a 9 month pregnancy, along with the 18 or so year commitment of her time following said pregnancy (and that would be a good time to mention that you might be busy for most of that time frame).  A Coltrain record can really seal the deal in this time of conflict and discord.  Commence reproduction.

Down-bedding and high thread count sheets - It may sound emasculating for a man to know what a duvet is, but it is vitally important that you keep your bed an attractive and enticing location for the opposite sex.  Hey, if women weren’t around, I’d just as soon sleep on a sheet of plywood, because I’m a man forged from iron.  But I would like a lady to stop by from time to time, so I’ve got the down comforter, feather-top, Egyptian cotton sheets, etc.  Once they’re in the bed, I don’t have to tell you what happens next.

Out

Talking Politics - It may make you feel smart, rattling off a few talking points that you memorized off the internet, or overheard in your sophomore poli-sci class, but it is not worth it.  I can’t emphasize this enough: it accomplishes nothing, the least of which is getting someone pregnant.

Crocs - Have some self respect.  I don’t care how comfortable they are, I’d rather chop my feet off above the ankle than be caught slipping into a pair of those women-repellers.  

-Anthony