The Rant: We've all made a huge mistake

By my estimation, approximately 83.3% of the Pixels to Poly readership is from Maine (the other dude accidentally clicked on this site from one of our Facebook status link spams, and has long since left us).  

We’ve all made a huge mistake.

If I were to tell you that there was a place that had more to offer than 6 months of winter, 4 months of mud, a month of pretty leaves and then six weeks in the middle where there is (sometimes) a few rays of sunlight and things are good, than you would probably call me a liar.  But there is.  I like to refer to that place as prettymuch everywhere other than here.  

You know, there are actually states where a few rainy days in July doesn’t mean you have to put away the Jet Ski and say things like, “Maybe next year.”

Luckily for the youth of the state, Maine does offer a lot in the way of career opportunities for college graduates: particularly those interested in a career as a lumberjack/riverdriver (which I think EMCC still offers as a two-year program), or as a shopkeeper specializing in the sale of harbor-fisherman-in-a-big-raincoat wooden statues.

When Native Americans discovered and founded the state in the early 14th century they named it Maine, of which the rough translation is, “dream killer.”

Now I’m not going to tell you that people from San Diego never get bored.  I will tell you that they rarely get bored, and when they do they are bored in cargo shorts and flip flops.

Sure we have cool things here, like more guns than people, intolerance, and large quantities of those aforementioned sailor statues.  The mere fact that I’m writing this article, while some twice as tan, southern version of me is doing some smoking hot Georgia peach just because the two of them are in a good mood from the 75 degree weather is frustrating.

Maybe I should buy a snowmobile.