In = puts you closer to impregnating women
Out = distances you from spreading your seed
It’s B-Nation Volume Six, Reeeeemiiiiiiix.
In
Not Blogging - I’ve been practicing this one for the last 2-4 weeks. Hey, you’d think that starting and writing a sick blog like Pixels to Polys would make women grow off your dick then hop back on it, but this is not the case. I stopped blogging nearly a month ago and have been swimming in vaginas ever since (metaphorically speaking of course). Frankly, I’m going to start blogging again because I’ve got to work to pay all the child support. Babies gotta eat.
Desmond Hatchett - With 21 kids with (at least) 11 different mothers at the age of 29 this dude is like the Winston Churchill of babymaking. Seriously, I’m tempted to rename this segment Desmond Hatchett Nation unless one person can give me a good reason not to---and no, the fact that he is screwing over the 11 mothers with tiny child support checks doesn’t count as a good reason. Don’t be mad at dude for finding a loop-hole in the system. Man is a genius and a legend. (See below video, credit to Barstool)
Out
Periods - I’m not talking about the things at the end of a sentence. These terrible time-frames in the unfortunate males lives are when he has to deal with some serious attitude. I’m no doctor, but by my estimation a woman’s body can produce 3-9 gallons of blood from her private area during what seems like 2-3 months, but is probably just a few days. What’s worse, if you manage to, a-hem, brave the storm and throw some loving in your lady, you still can’t make a kid... take my word on that one. Some terrible things can’t be unremembered.
Magic the Gathering - I have been in the vicinity of many Magic the Gathering card games, and never once, has anyone even approached 1st base with an actual girl within a 15-mile-radius of said games. Trust me fellows, if you go to a Magic “Party,” mana is the only thing that is gonna get tapped, if you follow my meaning. Fact: if you tape a Black Lotus card to your ball sack, then go to bed, you will wake up a eunuch.
You’re welcome guys. The king has returned.
-Anthony
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i remember the first time i braved the storm....
ReplyDeleteso i was banging this "chick" like wicked hard and when i pulled out my man meat was covered in blood.... i just figured i was making babies so hard it made her bleed. i asked if she was ok, and proceeded to instantly text all my friends about my sexual feats. i found out a few days later what the truth was. i was sad.